Ask Stephen Merchant

frigfaces

Boops your nose

ladychraelix asked: Are you... back? I saw you post a couple things, but I was gone most of the day so I'm seeing stuff from the night before now... but uh, I just wanted to say welcome back. *gives a crooked smile, waving a little*

“Sort of.” He smiles and shrugs. “I missed being around. It’s quirky here. Have to admit, I like it.” Stephen pauses for a moment, and then nods. “Thanks. We’ll see how things go.”

Anonymous asked: Hello-o-o-o-o-o-o! Anyone home?

Yes, hello?

I had a bunch of dating spam in my inbox… no thank you.

I remember this place.

Anonymous asked: All right, I'm just going to put these here and sit and wait until someone ponies up the cash for these puppies. Pizza ain't cheap, asshole.

Stephen frowns sharply, nostrils flaring. “Then you’ll be waiting for a long time. Pizza’s gonna go cold.”

Anonymous asked: Don't play me, man. I've got 60 pizzas here, and someone's got to pay for them.

Well it won’t be me!

akuromashair-deactivated2012041 asked: /Pat pat/ It's alright bro. You're jus' goin' mad, that's all. Nothin' special.

Am I going mental in my old age?

lottielovesreading:

She looks up, smiling at his smile. Hesitant, but still smiling. “Thank you, Mr.Merchant…It’s nice to know I could help you!” She takes a few more gulps before placing the cup down on the desk. “S-So, other than…That incident, did you have a nice day?”

Not looking up at her, Stephen shrugs. His attention is lazily placed on the coffee cup, of which the tip of his index was running about it’s rim. Steam curls up and around his curving wrist. “Not really.” He finally answers, slipping his fingers into the handle. “But it hasn’t been bad, either.”