Ask Stephen Merchant

lottielovesreading:

She looks up, smiling at his smile. Hesitant, but still smiling. “Thank you, Mr.Merchant…It’s nice to know I could help you!” She takes a few more gulps before placing the cup down on the desk. “S-So, other than…That incident, did you have a nice day?”

Not looking up at her, Stephen shrugs. His attention is lazily placed on the coffee cup, of which the tip of his index was running about it’s rim. Steam curls up and around his curving wrist. “Not really.” He finally answers, slipping his fingers into the handle. “But it hasn’t been bad, either.”

lottielovesreading:

“Yes, Mr.Merchant” She walks over to the coffee machine, pouring him and herself some fresh coffee. Flinching slightly at his choice of words. “…Thank you, Mr.Merchant…” She walks back over, handing him a cup of coffee and sitting back down, taking her own and sipping a little. “I am glad you are feeling rather positive about the current events…” RUDE BASTARD. Her mind seemed to scream at her. Although she decided to give him a break, he had a rough day after all…

He takes the coffee with a polite “thank you,” nodding before he sips, only to withdraw, sweeping his burning tongue over his lips. Stephen laughs at himself, setting the cup down on the desk beside him. “I only feel better because I have people like you helping me out.” He says with a clear smile, the first one he’s truly shown all day.

lottielovesreading:

“Thank you, Mr.Merchant, you have no appointments scheduled just yet thankfully.”  Her behaviour is far different from her usual self, she gulps down another coffee rapidly. “Would you like some coffee, Mr.Merchant? Or perhaps some other warm beverage?”

Grabbing a chair, he pulls it up next to you and takes a seat with a huff, allowing himself to relax for the first time today. “I’d love some coffee. I must say, Lottie, you can be tolerable under these circumstances. Well, perhaps not tolerable, maybe even… like-able.” He taps at his chin, still not quite satisfied with his choice of words. “In any case, I like this.”

lottielovesreading:

“If any of you wish to have a chat with Mr.Merchant please report to me first…” She sighs, filing away a few papers on her desk. 

Though still in a bad mood, her attitude causes a small grin to slip across his face, but it vanishes just as quickly. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

Oh, brilliant! The lanky man is back!

‘Ello!

WHEATLEY GET THE FUCK OUT! 

C-Calm down, luv, calm down…

lottielovesreading:

“A-Alright, Stephen…Not going to tell you to calm down…You clearly don’t want to hear that…J-Just going to uh…L-Leave…” She slowly inches towards the door, holding up her hands in front of her. “And the director gave us enough material for that sort of thing!” 

“Right. Get out.” He waves a hand brashly to the exit as he turns. “I have enough problems to deal with as it is.”

(Source: lankygoggleeyedfreak)

lottielovesreading:

Yes…Harmless…*Stifles a giggle* Well if I’m honest I prefer Tracy over the robot. He’s quite obviously a good cuddler~! What with those nice long limbs~ 

“Cuddler?” Stephen spits. He’s tense, to say the least, tendons visible in his neck as he inhales sharp, deep breaths. Blue-green eyes narrow in unabashed hatred. Shoulders back and neck craned, the man leans over you. “You want to cuddle with a murderer?” His shallow breathing comes in harder, fingers curling into his palm. His anger appears to grow, and he makes no show in hiding it. “A fucking fictional character, who I played for a bloody awful children’s film, whose innocence has been corrupted by the minds of you lot?”

(Source: lankygoggleeyedfreak)

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

.̛̺̩͚̗͈̙̅ͪ̎ͦ͊̐ͦ̑.̎ͧ̿͐̌̃̕͏̼̭̰͚.̘̟͐̎͊Ẅ͊̅ͯ͐̓҉̱́h̙̬͎̼̩̭̥̅ͪ̐ͬ̓́̑̉̆a̛̱͍̣͖̜̺̱̓̏ͮ͒̓͛̍ͫ̚t̯͍̱̠̟̜̣̔̐.̶̶̪̳̮̳̉ͣ̀́ͅ.̦͓͔̞̄̈ͫͨ̐̃.ͧ̐̿ͦ̈́́̿͏͙̯̳͙̤̱͟͠

*Waves shyly*

Ă̍̂͂҉͎̘̹͍h̳ͨͥ̒̉͂̀̚̚ͅ.̎ ̫̪̲͙̪̮͕̐ͥ̊̄H̹̑̂͆ͯͬͨ́ẹ̗͎̼̍ͩ̿ͬ̏ͨͥ̕ͅl͉̳̼͚̪͇̹͗̈l̟͙̹̤̤̥ͬ͛͊ͦ͊͘o…

“H-Hello, Tracy~” She grins rather nervously, as if she was conversing with a homicidal fairy…Oh, wait…”Lovely weather is it not~?”

I͈̙̩͓͙̩ͯ̋͗t̸̳͖̗’̋̈̄ͧ͌s̗̮͈̮̖͔̉ͯ ̮͛a͈͓͕̔ͩͭͥ̚l̺͕̬ͮ͘ȑ̡̠̬̺͖̱̭̹̑ỉ͙̯̤̤͙̍͜g̹̯̮͇̤ḥ̹̞̒t̞̻̣̪ͯ̆̂ͦ͆,̡̈́͊̄͊͗ͦ ͎̍̂ͭn̗͈̮͇̳͌ͅo̤͓̪͎̬͖̐ͪͣ̇ͤt͚̬̜̪̫̥ͭͨͥ̈́ ̨̪̮̦̭̭̙̤͋ͥ͛̔t̹͇̜ͭ̆ͤoͬͭͧ̒҉͙̳̳o̿̆̑҉͚͍̙̞̲̝ ̴̥̰̩ͬ̄͐̽̚g͔̘̉̍͗ͧͯͪö̼́̎ͧ̅o̙̥͍̝͛̍ͯͭ̇ḋ̢̹̩̲̫̖̒ͧ̎ͬ̑ͥ,̧͚̠̘̜̗ͩͅ ͉͇͖̣b̳͍̆ͭͯͭͨ̀ͫu̖̭̩̱̻̭ͬ̅̈̉t̤͉̓ ̫̻̅̋́ņ͎͓̩͖͕̻̑̽͑o̷͍͈̹͗͌ẗ͉̘̖͈̱̯́ͩͯ̂ͭ̃͌ ͎ͫ̑͐́̈́̚b̩̗̼͔̣̖̮̿̓ͯ͢áḏ͔̤̜,̹̯́ ̥̟̪̀ȇ̫͎ͨ̉t̰̬̑̌͞ḣ̴͈̼̹̌̊̌̃̍̆e̔̈́́̉͝ŗ͙̩̟̲̪̏̆̏̔͐ͩͥ.͈̮̜̮̭̄̓̑̎́.͉̭̫̦.̸̯̬͎̳̘̜̹͂̓

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

.̛̺̩͚̗͈̙̅ͪ̎ͦ͊̐ͦ̑.̎ͧ̿͐̌̃̕͏̼̭̰͚.̘̟͐̎͊Ẅ͊̅ͯ͐̓҉̱́h̙̬͎̼̩̭̥̅ͪ̐ͬ̓́̑̉̆a̛̱͍̣͖̜̺̱̓̏ͮ͒̓͛̍ͫ̚t̯͍̱̠̟̜̣̔̐.̶̶̪̳̮̳̉ͣ̀́ͅ.̦͓͔̞̄̈ͫͨ̐̃.ͧ̐̿ͦ̈́́̿͏͙̯̳͙̤̱͟͠

*Waves shyly* 

Ă̍̂͂҉͎̘̹͍h̳ͨͥ̒̉͂̀̚̚ͅ.̎ ̫̪̲͙̪̮͕̐ͥ̊̄H̹̑̂͆ͯͬͨ́ẹ̗͎̼̍ͩ̿ͬ̏ͨͥ̕ͅl͉̳̼͚̪͇̹͗̈l̟͙̹̤̤̥ͬ͛͊ͦ͊͘o ̶̟̘̣̠̣̠C̪̫͋hͯ͐ͤ͛̌̑a̖͓̩̻͕ͫͧ̚͞r͖ͫͩl̴̦̟̖ͬͧ̒͑ͣ̂o̮͈̙̲̗̱̊t̛̓͐t̊̒̊̎͆̂̽e̠̱̦͚ͭͅ.̦̤̲͋͋́̉̕

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

lottielovesreading:

lankygoggleeyedfreak:

lottielovesreading:

“Hang on…Oh!” She gasps in surprise. “Tracy…”

“Charlotte,” he smirks, “‘Ello, luv.”

“H-Hello, Tracy…” She steps back nervously. “L-Last time you really scared Stephen!” 

“Indeed I did,” Tracy, still smirking, takes a step forward.

She stepped closer to the door slowly. Trying to be inconspicuous about it. “W-What on Earth are you planning?”

“That’s for me to know, and for you, and the rest of Stephens little followers, to find out.”